


The Polynesian Club

by kaiipo



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen, Hetalia Academy, Original Character(s), Polynesian Islands, im tongan and thats the little bit of representation i get lmao, technically?? - Freeform, this takes place during the episode where they go around interviewing clubs for the school newspaper, tonga was shown in one unused sketch CMON COWARD SHOW TONGA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-01-31 19:04:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21451174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaiipo/pseuds/kaiipo
Summary: Germany, Italy and Japan stumble upon a club named the Polynesian Club..? The club members are related to New Zealand, Australia knows them really well and they have a really hot sister (take Italy's word for it) so how bad could it be?
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	The Polynesian Club

“The... Polynesian Club?” Germany said in a questioning matter. The word Polynesian tumbled out of his mouth with his weird German accent butchering up the word.

“Oh! I heard the Polynesian siblings have a hot sister!” Italy cheered. 

“Polynesian... siblings?” Japan nor Germany had ever heard of them before. What’s a Polynesian? Who are they? Who’s the hot sister?

“Yeah! The Polynesian siblings! They’re this big family and most of them are older than us. They’re all tan and have wavy hair.” Italy explained though it didn’t ring any bells for the other two. “New Zealand is related to them as well!”

“What? I thought Australia and New Zealand were related? Is Australia a Polynesian?” When Germany quirked his head to the side in question, Italy shook his head.

“I heard that New Zealand and Australia are just adopted siblings and that New Zealand used to have another name before England changed it.” Germany and Japan sighed but weren’t surprised either.

“He would do that wouldn't he,” Japan sighed.

The three stopped at a door that seemed to loom over the three, there must’ve been many people because the noise exceeded the door in front of them. Japan stared anxiously at the carefully crafted door. He glanced at Italy who was hopping and cheering them at Germany who hesitated to open the door. Germany was worried about the people he would meet in there, he’d neither met nor heard about these folks until today but he held his head high anyway.

Germany took the doorknob, twisted it then yanked it open. Inside were so many people that the club could’ve been mistaken for a party. They all looked upon the three at the door who stood awkwardly.

Everyone in the room wore their normal uniform tops with long black skirts wrapped around their waists (or that’s what it looked to the boys at least). The boys felt incredibly out of place.

Germany cleared his throat. “Uh, we’re the newspaper club and we need to interview all the clubs if that’s ok?”

The silence lasted a bit longer before an eruption of welcomes and greetings were given to the three.

“Hello! I’m Nuie!” Greeted a younger, shorter girl. Her black hair was tied into a quick, messy bun. She was holding a pot full of good smelling food calling out to Tokelau to taste test. 

“Welcome to The Polynesian Club! I’m Hawaii!” This one made Italy flush and stare. Her smile radiated positivity making it look like she was glowing. Her hair was black like Nuie’s, but instead, it wasn’t held back in a bun allowing everyone to see her wavy but somehow tidy hair. She wore a flower in her hair. When she caught Italy staring she winked and went back to her duties.

“Hey! I’m the Cook Islands, just call me Cookie though.” Cookie wore a warm smile and shook the German’s hand with a strong grip that could’ve lifted Germany off the ground. Cookie was shorter than most of the other Polynesian siblings, younger as well. He bared long curly hair put into a tiny bun. He had a chubby stature that made him seem bigger than he was. 

“Samoa, nice to meetcha.” Samoa held out his hand to Japan, only to sweep back his shaven hair when Japan reached out. He laughed and apologised for the trick. “Who are you guys?”

“Uh, we’re part of the newspaper club. I’m Germany-“

“I’m Italy!” Italy interrupted.

“Japan. Konichiwa.” The man bowed politely before the family. 

The family were all moved and surprised. “Well, come on! We’re about to eat so take a seat and dinner will be right up!” One of the family members led the boys to a table in the middle of the room.

Other than the number of people the first thing that was noticed was the table that the family sat the three at. Placemats made out of weaved leaves, paper cups and plates were waiting on the table. It wasn’t long after the family joined the three on the table.

Two full pots of what looked like some sort of stew was placed on the table next to a medium-sized pot of rice. The family all cried in a joyous chorus, “Chop Suey! Yuuum!” 

Just as the family were about to read for the food one of the family members cried a loud, “Wait!” 

A large lady holding a bible close to her chest stood above everyone. Her hair was tied into a messy bun and she honestly looked sort of terrifying. She waited for the family to get some sort of clue.

“Uhh... Oh! Duh! Lotu!” One of the siblings next to the three stood and called out. The rest of the family dumbly ‘ooh’d as if it were obvious.

Germany, Italy and Japan were even more confused. The one who just stood tapped on Germany’s shoulder, Germany turned to the sibling. He had dark wavy, short hair. He wore his uniform rather lazily, leaving one button unbuttoned and wearing what looked like a jersey underneath. Despite what his uniform would suggest he smiled like the nicest man you’d ever known, willing to help anyone in a crisis. “Sup’, I’m Tonga. You look confused. Don't worry dude, I’ll explain everything, just look like you’re praying or Tuvalu will gut you.” Tonga pointed at the one who spoke before him then he went into a prayer pose.

Germany looked at Tonga for a second before quickly going into the same position. He elbowed Italy who followed suit, Japan caught the trend and also clasped his hands together.

“Lord, bless this food that Nuie has prepared. It’s her first time cooking for the family and we know that with your guidance Lord she will have made something wonderful.” The family cheered and congratulated Nuie who smiled sheepishly. Tuvalu turned to the three. “Also, bless these three boys who happened to stumble upon our club on this special day. Lord, we know you have something special planned for these boys so please guide them with your great omnipotence and wisdom. And we all say-“

“Ameni!” The family cheered.

“Lotu means prayer. We’re a Christian family.” Tonga quickly explained. Germany looked over at Tonga and nodded, he opened his mouth to say something but Tonga seemed to read his mind saying, "The long skirts are called lavalavas. Don't worry, I got you, brotha." The Tongan flashed a thumbs up to the German who awkwardly nodded again.

  
One of the siblings reached for the pot before being smacked on the hand by Tuvalu. “Samoa! Let the three new boys get their plates set up first! Oh my gosh, boy.” The rest of the family jokingly teased and taunted the boy who laughed it off. “Hey! Don’t you laugh! Did anyone ask them if they wanted a cuppa?”

  
“Oh! Do you want a cuppa?” Hawaii asked. The three tried deciphering what a ‘cuppa’ was. Hawaii dramatically rolled her eyes while grinning. “Tea.”

  
“Oh no, I’m fine,” Germany answered, the other two seemed to agree with him.

  
Italy nudged Germany. “That’s the hot sister,” Italy whispered before Germany pushed him down by holding his head.

  
Tuvalu stood behind the boys and pet their backs. “Well, come on boys! Get some food and you can interview us meantime!” The rest of the family seemed to agree.

  
Finally, everyone filled their plate and began eating. The three at first were cautious of the food but, with Germany taking the first bite into the beef thrown in the stew-like meal he pleasantly sounded, they enjoyed the meal and sent praises to the family who spoilt the three with treats. When Italy complimented Samoa’s shoes, Samoa immediately took off his shoes and gave it to Italy to keep, leaving Italian sobbing ‘thank you’s.

“Oh, wait! The interview!” Germany reminded him and the two beside him. “I completely forgot because of all these welcomes and niceties.”

“Especially the chocolate necklaces.” Japan unwrapped one of the chocolates and cheerfully bit into it.

“Um, excuse me!” The family turned their attention to the three newcomers. “Could we start that interview now please?”

A chorus of pleasant agreements sounded and Germany took it as an invitation to start asking questions.

* * *

“So, generally we don’t like to converse or mingle with everyone else,” Samoa explained with the family sat around him nodding sadly. “They’ve taken Aotearoa and Hawaii away from us so we stay close together so we don’t lose anyone else.”

Hawaii groaned, rolling her eyes. “Honestly, America’s such a _pua_ʻ_a_.” She quietly mentioned, before going back to her regular tone. “He only ever eats hamburgers and he’s been keeping me in his house for _years_. I’m just glad Samoa comes by sometimes, he’s a lot better than that _palagi lolo_.” Sounds of agreements echoed through the room as Germany wrote quickly, improvising the spelling of the words from the other languages.

Italy hummed. “No matter we haven’t heard of you guys. I thought Hawaii was an American state? Or territory?”

“I wasn’t this whole time. Plus, I’m like way older than him.” The Hawaiian leaned on Tonga’s shoulder. “It just sucks y’ know? This is the only time I get to hang out with the whole family.” She smiled, even though her eyes glittered with the threat of tears.

“So, that’s why you guys don’t know much about us. We tend to hide in the shadows so we don’t get taken away from anyone else.” Tonga itched behind his neck, sighing wearily. “It’s dehumanising that everyone we meet and welcome just wants to own us.”

“The only person that isn’t Polynesian that we hang out with is Australia.” Cookie added, smirking. “He’s practically part of the family at this point.”

“Australia’s so nice,” Hawaii gushed, giggling a bit, “and _strong_.”

Germany looked at his clipboard, a soft smile creeping his lips. “You’re one of the only three groups who seriously answered these questions.”

“We know there are many other clubs but there were that many that didn’t answer?” Hawaii asked. “I honestly thought about joining the hellfir- I mean, swimming club.” She forced a smile and glanced at Tuvalu who didn’t seem to notice the slip-up.

Germany tiredly nodded, he shut his book with a yawn. The family noticed. “Wow, you guys must be tuckered out.” Tonga pursed his lips in thought. “Hey, we’ll put these into containers and you guys can take some for yourself if you’d like?”

“Ve? Really?” Italy asked. "Thank you so much!"

“No worries, brother! Now you’re all part of the Polynesian family even if you’re all palagi.” Samoa grinned. “Or Japanese. Whatevs.”

As the three stood at the door, the family was working on filling the containers. Each was given a container full of food. “I hope you learnt some things about us and our family! If you ever want anything, you come to us okay?” Tuvalu told the boys who nodded. Tuvalu pulled the three into a big hug that the rest of the family joined in on. 

Once they let go, The Newspaper Club all went on their way to visit some Competitive Hair Solan Club.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this isn't how the interviews worked bbbut please i...m hnfgmdf
> 
> a buttload of explanations;
> 
> palagi is the Samoan word for foreigners or just white people. it's used as an insult sometimes? but mostly just to address people that look white. Hawaii has their own word for foreigners but I decided to go for plain ol' palagi because every Polynesian uses some form of this word (I'm Tongan and we usually say palangi)
> 
> pua'a is the Hawaiian word for pig. Lolo is Hawaiian slang for a moron, y'know, like america
> 
> the whole thing with Samoa giving Italy his shoes is a thing we do in Tonga at least? When somebody compliments your clothes, you should give that person that article of clothing. It's mostly a family thing but I thought it would be cute to put in
> 
> I don't think a lot of Polynesians realise how much magic and sorcery was in our religions. especially Hawaii with Kanaloa and all the possession rituals. So Hawaii probably would want to join the hellfire club (unaware its a tabletop club)
> 
> I think Hawaii and England would get along in a very weird way. England's very posh and blunt and Hawaii's very humble and casual, as well as Hawaii being super cautious while being around England because of Polynesia's whole history with being coerced into belonging to some country
> 
> I was gonna write a whole thing about Samoa and Germany (cus German Samoa) but I decided against it because every time I tried fitting it in the story it felt awkward!! :((( I'll write something for it tho
> 
> I've always wanted more Polynesian content in this fandom!! its a little awkward for my start but it's fine hehe
> 
> also, I should mention this isn't all of Polynesia. I haven't even touched on French Polynesia holy shit


End file.
